A glimpse into my art life

 Sometimes I forget that I'm still 19,

Sometimes I forget that I can't achieve my dreams within a week,

Sometimes I don't realize that I am already doing things to reach my dreams, 

Sometimes I forget to have faith in myself,

Sometimes I don't appreciate my talent to draw, 

And sometimes I forget that I need to be patient, 

My ambition changed last year. When Covid struck, and I was at home constantly drawing, I realized, creativity runs through my blood, my veins, and that my life is art and art is my life. That's when I decided I wanted to become a professional artist, a professional illustrator. 

As much as I want to achieve this dream quickly, I cannot. It's not possible. Sulking over things like this is simply a waste of time, and instead, I can use that time to draw, to create. I don't know how long it'll take, I don't even know if I'll ever make it. But let me tell you this, I will die trying. I will make it. And during this process, I need to understand that I'm going to fail so many times. There are going to be moments that no matter how many times I draw, I still won't be able to get that one piece right. And that's okay. That's completely fine. All I need to do is give it a rest and start all over again. 

A lot of people assume art is easy, that all you have to do is get a pencil and paper, and voila that is all. Trust me, there's more to that. There's so much to it. There's the need to create emotions, to be able to tell a story, to make sure it looks attractive and grasping, and that the piece you do is also meaningful. 

I've been drawing for as long as I can remember and in the beginning, it was just for fun. It was the fact that I love coloring. My parents would give me pastels and colored pencils and I'd simply mess around. Drawing on the walls was simply my favorite canvas. But only as I grew up, did I realize that art meant more to me than just simply coloring. When I draw, I escape. Seconds, minutes, hours would fly and I wouldn't feel it. I'm in a place of mind where nothing except myself and my art matter. And that truly is a wonderful blessing. 

Sometimes all you need is a life-changing moment to set your goals straight. Which is exactly what happened to me. When I was five years old, my art teacher told my grandma that I should be sent to an art class because I couldn't draw. Now, this situation is rather funny because as a five-year-old, I had no idea she was expecting me to be a professional artist. Most kids couldn't draw straight lines. And I was included in this category. This was not my life-changing moment because I was too young to remember it. Not remembering that incident worked as an advantage because I never stopped drawing. Starting off from drawing stick figures and not being to draw a proper eye, I still kept drawing. What changed was, a few years after the incident, my mum told me that something like this happened. And that was when it struck. The comment that I received when I was just five years old became my extrinsic motivation. That was when I told myself that I'll never let myself be in a position where someone could tell me that I cannot draw. For years I worked on my art, there were and still are times that I literally suck. And there were times where I couldn't draw for months. Once I didn't draw for almost an entire year. 

The moment when I realized that art was essential to me just as breathing is essential to life was when I went on for about a week without drawing. I felt this uneasiness occurring within me, it was really frustrating. I figured it was just exam stress and the tiresome, sleepless days. After studying I figured I'd spend some time sketching, and the moment when I started the sketch, the knot and uneasiness simply disappeared. Believe me when I say that I couldn't believe it, and I know most of ya'll reading this wouldn't believe me either. But it's true. I tested this theory again. Waited for days without drawing and it happened again. I did this so many times because I kinda felt like I was being absurd but nah every time I went without drawing, the same emotion would rise, and once I started drawing it disappeared. 

As days go by, I know there's so much for me to learn and so little that I know. That's what makes it beautiful, isn't it? The process of learning. All I can say is that I want a future with art. I want to be able to create things that people would fall in love with, that children will love looking at.  Who knows, if I'm lucky enough I'll get there, otherwise, well, I'll at least get somewhere close to it.

We all have big dreams, whether it's to be a fashion designer, an accountant, a businesswoman, a businessman, a doctor, an engineer, an actor, singer, pilot and so many more. My advice to you, be patient. It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and work hard. Ask for help, learn from others and just simply give it your all. Dreams keep us alive. Keep living and make sure you live your dream. 

To everyone who has been a part of my art journey, thank you. You all are partly why I created b.arts._ which is now known as faithfularts._ on Instagram. I cannot wait to display more of my art and I wouldn't be where I am right now without your love and support. 

Love, 

BB.