Is your mental well-being important?

 I believe as most of you would agree with me is that our mental health is as important as our education and finding a good job.

 However, most of the individuals in my country refuses to see it that way. 

The education in Sri Lanka guides and teaches us individuals to get into a university and to find a job. However, from my experience it does not teach you how to guide yourself to a content, happy life. People say that life is a paper that you are never prepared for. But I disagree, it is something you can be prepared for through guidance, advise and motivation. 

Look at it from this point of view. You do not suddenly become an expert in writing and reading. No, it is a step by step process where you are taught orderly. I believe our lives are like that, it is a step by step process where the necessary guidance provided can lead you to a content life. It won't necessarily lead you to the perfect life, because that is never achievable, but it will lead you to a life where you  are happy with what you have and who you are becoming, whilst learning new things. 

Another assumption individuals make is that "Money can buy you happiness". Take a moment to clearly understand this concept. Are you certain it does? Because if you ask me, I do agree to it but my contradiction point is that the happiness you receive from money is only temporary and it is very limited. Deny and disagree with me but once again look at it from this point of view. You've been looking forward to buying a new phone or an item you've been obsessing over the last few months. And finally because you have the money, you are able to buy it. At that moment you'll be very happy, you'll feel like the luckiest and most happiest person alive. But for how long does this happiness last? For some it will last only for few minutes and for some it will last for hours. But the happiness goes away and you'll suddenly feel as it was something ordinary. You're thoughts will be simply say "Ah alright. I bought it." the excitement goes away and you'll no longer feel the happiness. But my dear all, the happiness that you gain within yourself is much stronger than the happiness that you gain through money. You are able to disagree with me but firstly before you do so, let me tell you a story of an individual whose life changed within a week. I've been lucky enough to get permission from the individual to share this story with you. 

This individual is a smart girl with many talents. She is humble, generous and someone who cares for her loved ones. One of her biggest flaws was that she tried to reach perfection. She knew that is was never achievable, she knew no one was ever perfect and that she too can never ever reach it. But she kept pushing herself to be the best version of herself and to be good at everything. And her studies was one thing she kept pushing herself on. You could admire her for her hard-work and efforts but little did she know that this stress she was putting on herself was slowly leading to her breaking point. She told me she never wanted to fail in anything, she wanted to show everyone she was a smart individual and she wanted to make herself and her family proud. She told me she compared herself to others' when she should never have and that she looked down upon herself and always looked towards the negative. She told me her parents never forced her to do anything she disliked and that they were always supportive. But her inner drive to be the best at what she does was slowly killing her. Her life was slowly changing and she felt the change happening within her. But because she knew she was a strong person, she ignored it. She kept telling herself that she'll go through it because she has the strength. And then one day her life changed. She became severely unhappy. She told me she'd cry for no reason, that she was breaking inside. She felt so helpless and so did her parents. 

These were her exact words " The war inside me is still happening. The emptiness fills me up, it makes me want to scream out loud. But I controlled it. For the sake of my mother, I was strong. But it still hurts and I wish it stops. When depression hits, I burn. My chest burns and I feel awful. I have no mood or interest in my studies, but I am trying to bring my focus. I don't want things to go back to how it was, I want it to get better. I want to get through it. Its' been 15 days and I deserve a break. But I'm trying, hoping and waiting until I am okay again. Getting through difficulties have always been one of strengths. So I know, I know I will get through this. I don't know how long it will take. I just know I will be okay. I don't know what my purpose is right now, but I have many reasons to live. This experience has brought me closer to my family in ways I never thought. I am thankful everyday. I know I am unlucky to go through this. But I am lucky I have my family. I have never been more thankful. It gets tiring though, fighting against my mind. But I love myself so much to give up, so I fight. One thing I have to do is keep fighting." 

By reading her words, you all will be able to understand that she was going through depression. Her consistent pattern of thoughts and emotions lead her to this suffering. And because she looked at herself as a strong person, she kept assuming she will be alright. But that's not okay. It is not okay to ignore your emotions just because you think it is not a big deal. Everything matters. All small things can lead to the creation of a big issue. It is essential to understand every small detail and fix it. Fix it so you can move into the future peacefully. 

Returning back to the topic where money can buy you happiness while referring to her story. Because her parents have money, she was able to go and get medication. Money helped her. It helped her become okay but it didn't bring her happiness. She told me. "Bini, my mum and dad were able to help me. But going to the doctor didn't make me happy. I still find no joy in doing the things I love. My parents would buy me things but nothing matters to me. The only happiness I can gain is the one that occurs within me. It is the most strongest form of happiness that I've ever encountered."

Focus on yourself because money, my dear all can be earned. You lose money, you can earn it. But once you lose yourself, it doesn't take a minute for you to take your life permanently for a problem that is temporary. Life is never going to be easy and that is okay. Pay attention to your mental health. You can be the smartest person alive but if you do not look after yourself because you think money and your status is the only thing that is worth it. Then my dear, you are mistaken. All your hard-work and efforts all come to a waste if you do not look after yourself first. 

This is why I believe that we must pay attention to our well-being. This is why I believe that the Sri Lankan education must look into motivating individuals, not only to be good in their education and jobs but also in looking after your mind and mental health. I pray and hope that all schools and universities and jobs in Sri Lanka will bring in more motivational programs. Our world is changing, individuals are becoming fragile and it is necessary for us to take the right step in the right direction because we are the future. We are what's going to be left in this world and it is important to be mentally strong.

When you are physically sick you go to a doctor. When you are mentally sick you go to a psychologist. And my dear all, there is nothing to be ashamed of going to a psychologist. There is not wrong in saying " I'm not okay right now and I need some help." 

Break these habits of trying to be perfect, of trying to be the best. Dream big yes, but also aim to survive today so you can have a better tomorrow. Shower yourself with love, because you do deserve it. You all do. Do not depend on objects or other people to make you happy, depend on yourself. Give yourself a break because you need rest. It is not a waste, because by giving yourself a break, you are helping yourself become the individual you want to be. It is a step by step process. Live, laugh and love. Take all these negative moments and make it positive. Use them as your strength and never, NEVER be ashamed of seeking help to help your mental well-being. Having depression or anxiety does not make you a crazy person. It does not give anyone the right to bully you or label you. You are being labelled as a "Unique" human being and depression, anxiety or any other psychological disorder cannot take that away. 

I pray and hope once again that schools' in Sri Lanka will introduce motivation programs for their students during school hours. Because remember sometimes, all it takes is a second to change your life completely. And you will never understand how valuable a second as such is to an individual who is breaking down, wanting to end their life. 

- Bini